if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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