It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
