so explain again why im purple
no
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize