You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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