pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
