My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
