At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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