Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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