may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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