I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
