Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
