there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
