he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
