Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize