Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
