It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's always time for handjobs
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
