We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
