We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
