he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
