i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize