Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
