You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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