wakey wakey hands off snakey
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
