You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
