I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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