No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
