maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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