Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
