mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need a beard to bite.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
