the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
