Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Houston, we have a blender
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Pants are for mortals
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
