I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
