sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize