Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
