my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
