just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Vodka?
Forever.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
