a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Text me some of your sweat
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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