I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
