Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
