I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
