so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
