I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
