college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just found puke in my bra..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
