Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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