she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize