I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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