quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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