but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
