And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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