You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
