Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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