is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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