Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize