last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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