Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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