I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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