A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
