it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
