I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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