Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
